- Hearing loss often develops gradually, so a parent may not realise it, or may notice but feel embarrassed about it; neither reaction is unusual.
- Common signs a family member spots first include asking people to repeat themselves, turning the TV up, struggling in cafés or group settings, and not responding when called out to.
- Starting the conversation gently, with a personal observation and an open question rather than a direct confrontation, tends to work better than pushing for a decision straight away.
- Offering to get your own hearing checked at the same time, and going together, can take the pressure off.
The short answer
Start with something small and kind, and make sure they know you're asking because you care. This can be a hard conversation to have, and it takes courage for both of you. The first step doesn't need to be a decision. It can simply be talking about it.
Where they might be at
Some people have no idea they have a hearing loss, because it often creeps up over many years. Others know, but they're ignoring the signs because they feel a little embarrassed. Neither is unusual, and neither means they don't want help. Remember that this is your loved one. You don't want them to feel bad about it. You want them to feel important and supported.
What you might have noticed
It's often a family member who spots it first. You might see that they:
- Ask you to repeat yourself more often
- Turn the TV up louder than before
- Struggle in cafés, restaurants or family gatherings, even though they seem fine one on one
- Don't respond as quickly as they used to when you call out
Ways to start the conversation
Keep it light and personal. Here are two examples you can borrow or make your own:
- "I'm the funny one in the family and I'm always cracking jokes, but I've noticed you're not laughing as much. What's going on? I think I'm still funny, right?"
- "I noticed the mokopuna have been calling out, and you're not responding as much as you used to. Is everything okay?"
Aim for one small observation and an open question. You're not trying to convince them of anything in the first chat.
Offer to go together
You might be the first to put your hand up. If you can't remember the last time you had your hearing checked (for many of us it was at school), say so: "I haven't had my hearing checked in years. Why don't we go together? I can go first, and you can go after me."
It's as easy as that, and it takes the pressure off them.
Need a hand?
If you have questions about your own hearing health, or about how to bring someone you love in, give us a call on 0800 737 662, email hello@resonatehealth.co.nz or drop into your local Resonate studio. We're always happy to have a chat, and we'll make you a tea or coffee and do everything we can to make you both feel comfortable.
Resonate. The Podcast
Hi, I’m Aimee, the Navigator at Resonate Hamilton Central. I am a huge advocate for wellbeing and love that Resonate's holistic approach to healthy ageing allows us to support so many aspects of our customers' lives.
